and then playing hard to get…
As men we dont understand how intimidating it is to be attracted to someone that is more dominant than us
One thing that you quickly learn in online dating (a casual friend finder especially) is that you are going to have to make the first move. This is also true in any sort of bar scene.
All it takes is a number close and then getting touch with her a couple days later.
If you have displayed enough higher value and seduced well enough your work is done. You have planted the seed of interest in her mind – she has your number and it’s only a matter of time before she get’s in touch with you.
But then it pays to act a little preoccupied or hard to get – you want to keep her guessing.
By hard to get I am not meaning that you deny her the chance to be with you (that is the goal) if you have gotten that far then there is little need to act distant. But what you don’t want to do is be texting her all the time and waiting for her to call next.
Get on with your regular life and when the weekend rolls around and she notices you haven’t gotten in touch she will make the move.
You are obviously preoccupied with other exiting things that she HAS to be apart of + she cant let you off the hook that easily. It’s now a bit of a game and you are right where you want to be.
Of course this doesn’t always work and sometimes she wont have the courage to ask you out on a date or even text you first.
In this case revert back to making the first move – you have to be a little persistent. If she tells you outright that she is not interested then call it a dead end and move on but it’s more likely she is just loving the attention and waiting for you to get in touch.
As the guy it may take awhile to realise that this IS your role – if you don’t make the move someone else always will.
on an interesting life…
Actually leading an interesting life is a MUST – like going skiing/ hiking/ biking swimming… anything that get’s you away from what everyone else is doing and into something that set’s you apart and makes you a little unique.
The best way to do this from a male perspective is through work.
If you own your own company it gives you somewhat flexible hours and immediately sets you apart from the bunch.
Women (like anyone) are drawn to the interesting changeable and exiting lives that surround them. If your predictable sooner or later your going to be left for the guy that is creating amazing experiences every day.
This is a great motivation to be better and do better – try to incorporate one exiting thing into your life every day. If you are working non stop and think this is an insane request just dial it back a little.
It doesn’t have to be anything crazy like base jumping but it could be picking up a new hobby or learning a new song on the guitar.
It could be something simple like starting one of the top 100 books of all time or arranging a get together with friends after work.
It could be coming up with ideas for a business or product
Just think about what sets you apart from the next guy and get working on it – it’ll pay off in the future.
Making the first move in any online dating situation is easy… but important. A simple hello introductory email is all you need. .
If you dont introduce yourself to each women on the site there is little chance that they will make the effort to unless your profile is bangin.
In the most part your going to have to do the handshaking!
But after this “hi im jake” business it’s smooth conversational sailing from their.
I seemed to get asked alot – “how do I make the first move?”
what do I say?
when should I say it?
The trouble with this is that you are making the “first move” more than it should be and more than it is. The first move can happen anytime… and it’s a simple “hi”.
This should be happening organically along with your interesting life philosophy above. What you are doing at the time will influence what is said after hi.
Hi that’s a cool hat your wearing where did you get it
Hi I saw you at the game today… I’m James