Picking Up In Bars And Clubs
If this type of scene is not your thing picking up women or men in bars can be really tough… You might have this idea about how everyone but you finds it natural to be overly exited about dancing in a loud sweaty environment… the truth is a nightclub IS an UN-NATURAL environment.
For some reason we need this boozed up dim but flashy loud area for us to meet new people and have a good time.
The energy in bars and nightclubs can be really attractive so even if it’s not your thing I recommend you give it a go just to practice letting go for awhile. Because you really DO have to let go and just enjoy yourself… Be silly and outrageous for the night.
If you need a few wines or shots to make this happen by all means – just make sure that you are able to speak coherently when the time comes.
So how does a guy actually pick up in bars and clubs?
It’s so loud you cannot hear the person shouting into your ear next to you. You very often don’t know anyone apart from your friends. Girls are always in groups of more than 2 or 3…
Yeh it’s tough… If you are a chatty laid back comic kind of guy that is not used to getting wild you are going to need to change a few things…
The great thing about nighclubs is that they ooze sexual excitement and sexual tension… the sex is thick in the air and because it’s so crowded and loud you have an excuse to get close to someone to introduce yourself.
The success with picking up in bars comes down to ACTION… not reading and understanding – when it comes down to it – will you get out their and dance?
Will you approach a girl and hold her attention for several minutes? Will you keep trying after you get shot down(bound to happen at least once)…
Here are some rules or at least some sort of “system” you can try… If it doesn’t work for whatever reason at least you can say you gave it a go and had a great time trying.
PL PICKUP – Bars and Nightclubs
#1 – RELAX
There is no win or lose when it comes to this scene. The whole point of it is to have fun – if you are so wound up about what to say you are nervous or anxious in ANY way your missing the whole point! If your nervous in club for more than 3 mintues… do this… LEAVE.
Go out get some fresh air and give yourself a stern talking to
SELF… I came here to have a good time. These nerves you not helping me and they mean nothing to me anymore… it doesn’t matter about whether I talk to women or not… I am just here to have a good time and chat to anyone I see whether they be guys or girls.
When you get back in perhaps grab a beer (TALK to the bar person) + talk to anyone at the bar next to you. If it’s to loud…avoid talking to much but read on.
#2 NO EXPECTATIONS
Expectations lead to pass or fail results… This is not a test which means you CANT FAIL… good to know right? You get laughed at by a girl, BIG DEAL! It’s her loss – move right along.
It pays to keep your expectations low about what the night will bring. If a girl is dancing with you do not assume anything unless she lets you know in an obvious way.
That means also if a girl starts chatting to you or you approach a girl and she chats back it doesn’t mean she wants to bang tonight! She might have a boyfriend or she might just be really polite.
Smile! You are here to have fun remember?
TIP – Bring a relaxed extroverted friend and follow his lead
Integrate some sort of activity into your night… If you love pool, darts, betting, dancing, drinking, eating etc etc do those things. The more enjoyable the night the more likely you will want to return.
Bring a group of guys out and have a great time doing what you love.
Notice what venue you are going to… the venue you are at is VERY important to the success of your night. Try matching the mood of your personality to the mood of the venue.
There are always the loud pop music bars but if that’s not your scene there are also upmarket wine bars and bohemian low key areas of town to visit.
Mix it up – it’s not always about going out and “smashing it”. The wine bars are always crawling with successful intelligent women looking for guys.
The trick is to be able to fit in to the exclusiveness of the environment. Don’t be intimidated just make sure you dress well and know what your getting yourself into.