Sex Chat: Everything You Need To Know (And Pros and Cons)

sex chat

Sex Chat – Try our free sex chatroom here

There are several variations of what can be described as sex chat. Before the advent of cell phones, instant messaging and social media sites, sex chat was referred to as phone sex.

Sex Chat

While phone sex certainly still exists, technology has allowed us accomplish the same thing without speaking which has both disadvantages and advantages. Sex chat often leads to using a cam whether one-way or cam-to-cam but this article will focus on sex chat alone without the use of any type of video camera. In addition to covering those disadvantages and advantages, we will discuss some tips for successfully engaging in sex chat.


The most obvious drawback is the inability to hear the voice of the person you are chatting with. For some people, actually hearing the words, “I am taking off my clothes” or “I am touching myself” is understandably much more enjoyable than reading the same words. In fact, according to Psychology Today, having a sexy voice can actually have greater influence on the attractiveness of a person than their physical appearance.

Another very important drawback is the inability to hear certain sounds. Examples are moaning, groaning, whimpering and depending on the degree of pleasure, perhaps out right screaming or yelling. Clearly if communication is limited to typing and reading what someone else is typing, it would be impossible to hear these sounds. Like when we actually engage in the physical activity, these sounds are a great way to determine that our partner is somehow befitting from whatever we are doing at that moment.


Perhaps the most common reason why people don’t engage in sexual exploration are our own inhibitions. For some reason, those inhibitions are greater when our partner can hear our voice versus just reading what we type.

Likely, this is related to feeling exposed. Granted, once you are “in the groove,” so to speak, it can become easier to lose those inhibitions but initially or before even getting started, it can be rather difficult to let go and become comfortable with the situation. We tend to feel less exposed when typing, or texting for that matter.

As a result, we are able to let go and enjoy the moment sooner. Indeed, it can be the difference between actually engaging in the activity or not. The good news is that one thing often leads to another and if hearing someone’s voice is a turn on for you, after becoming comfortable with your partner via a sex chat, you might reach a level of familiarity that allows you to interact with your voices.

Another advantage to sex chat as opposed to phone sex is freeing your hands for at least brief amounts of time which makes it difficult to masturbate which is a pretty important aspect of phone sex or sex chat. For phone sex, you’re likely to have to hold up the phone to your ear with one of your hands or your shoulder which can result in awkward positioning hindering your ability to fully enjoy the moment. During sex chat, on the other hand, while you will have to use your hands to type or text but after typing your hands are then free for pleasuring yourself. It’s certainly less than ideal but it can work.

It’s worth pointing out that voice-free aspect of sex chat means that you can engage in sex chat rather discreetly. This is great if there is someone in the other room and you are wanting to enjoy yourself privately. However, this characteristic of sex chat also means that you can engage in the act virtually anywhere as long as you can also be discrete about how much you are enjoying it. Think sex catting via your mobile device. You could do this literally anywhere and in any situation as long as your reaction
was as discrete as the conversation. Of course you would also want to be sure that nobody could see your screen.


The norms regarding sex chatting vary widely depending on the circumstances and the people engaging in the act. However, setting rules and expectations before sex chatting can easily ruin the mood so it’s best to use language that sets the appropriate expectation rather than some form of rule setting.

A great example of this is if you are communicating for the first time and you are providing your name. Rather than saying, “my name is Joe,” say, “call me Joe.” The second phrase indicates that it’s probable the person’s real name is not Joe. The phrase also implies that the person is not comfortable or otherwise prefers not to provide their real name.

This can set the stage for a more casual encounter and the other person can take this cue and also provide an alias in lieu of their real name. The other person will also likely avoid asking more personal questions. If this go particularly well there might be subsequent encounters and if a personal level of interaction is reached, then perhaps you can choose to provide additional and factual information about yourself.

As with conventional sex, “finishing” at the right time can be of some importance. Men will likely have an easier time finishing than women but that may not necessarily be the case. The great thing about masturbation is that you know exactly what you like and that is what you will do to please yourself resulting possibly in reaching orgasm quicker.

For some people, after an orgasm there is a “off switch” that occurs at the same time and afterwards it can be hard to stay engaged in the conversation at least to the same degree as you were engaged prior to orgasm. This can result in the other party feeling like they were left hanging. Try to ensure that you are properly engaged at all time. Similar to any kind of sex, this is for the benefit of both parties and not just yourself.

Perhaps this goes without saying but because sex chat does not have the visual or spoken aspects of other forms of sex, it’s crucial to be as descriptive as possible without going overboard. A great example of this rather than saying, “I’m turned on right now,” you might say, “I’m already so wet,” or something to that effect.

To be fair, both phrases are pretty sexy but the second phrase takes it just it just a step further. You can use the first phrase but follow it up with the second phrase.

Also with any other type of sex, it can be helpful for your partner to allow them to control some aspect of the situation and the same will likely go for you. Ask them, “what do you like,” or “what would you want me to do.”

Even if the response is something that cannot actually be accomplished via a sex chat, the question can prompt the other party to use their imagination which is important to having fun during a sex chat. Asking your partner what they like will give you something to use if there are subsequent encounters.

You now know what they like and can tell them that you are doing this without them having to ask. During conventional sex, knowing what your partner likes beforehand and doing that act is a great way to please your partner. The same applies to sex chat.

Perhaps the most important “do” during sex chat is to enjoy yourself. Indeed, you will not be able to enjoy the experience unless you enjoy yourself because that, combined with making sure that you do your part to ensure your partner enjoys the experience, is ultimately is the final goal. This might require you to be open-minded to a certain degree. You will likely discover some things about yourself and what you like that you might not have been fully aware of beforehand.

This type of self-discovery can be a lot of fun and a lead to more enjoyable encounters in the future whether via a sex chat or other methods. Finally, sex chatting can also lead to learning more about your own boundaries and what you consider acceptable or not.

For many people, the boundaries that exist during conventional sex are often a bit more rigid than they might be during sex chat. This is normal but those boundaries may change with what you find turns you on during sex chatting. Take the knowledge and the
experience and make the most of it!

Who can use Sex Chat?


Basically, anyone who is of legal age, 18 or above can try sex chat.

It’s perfect for single people who would like to meet someone new. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you will meet in person. It all depends on you and how far you are willing to go.

If you are freshly divorced or went through a bad breakup, maybe you are not 100 % ready to get back into the dating game.  That is absolutely fine. You can take it slow and enjoy chatting without any pressure. You are the boss and you decide whether you want to take it to the next level and meet in person or leave it in the realms of the online world.

Even if you are in a long distance relationship, hundreds of miles away from each other, you can use modern technology to your advantage and keep your relationship fresh and exciting.

You have a wide variety of options to choose from. From webcams, social media, WhatsApp, Snapchat and myriad other messengers.

You can even use remote distance sex toys and bring your partner to an orgasm using just your mobile phone. The possibilities are endless and distance is no longer an excuse.

Couples married for a long time are often complaining how their sex life is not what it used to be in the beginning. Over time the excitement and novelty have worn off and their sex life often seems boring and monotonous.

Sex chat over mobile phone or email could open a whole new world for them if only they would be open enough to try new things. Some people are shy to talk about their sexual needs and wants with their partner face to face. Sex chat could give them an opportunity to talk about all their secret sexual fantasies openly and make things less awkward and less pressure. Who knows, maybe they even share a mutual fantasy but they were too shy to talk openly and directly.

Different Types of Virtual Sex Chat

Modern technology and Internet enabled us with the vast variety of options to choose from. From the clothes we wear, the music we listen to, food we eat, books we read. You can also choose a different type of online sex chat, according to your preferences, needs and wants.

You can remain anonymous and just chat with people, or make an account on some of the many online dating sites if you plan to meet in person.

You can role play and make a fun game out of it. If you are into kink and BDSM, you will easily find a whole community dedicated just for that.

Best  Sex Chat Sites

If you ar trying to find the best place for online sex chats, don’t worry, you have a lot of options to choose from.

From dating sites and apps oriented strictly on dating and relationships to online chat rooms and webcam shows.  Many of them have chatrooms where you can participate and chat for free and anonymously.

Some of the best online sex chat sites:

How to have the best experience while sex chatting


  1. Either you are trying sex chat for the first time or you are already a sex chat pro, nevermind. By educating yourself and trying new things, you will provide a better experience for yourself and your partner.

Here are a few tips:

  • Your sex chat won’t be enjoyable if you are going to be interrupted all the time. So plan ahead the time and find some sexy time only for yourself. When you are uninterrupted and fully present in your conversations your experience will be much better.

So dim those lights, light up some candles, put on some relaxing music and drink a glass of wine to get the best out of your sex chat escapades.


  • Decide what would you like your sex chat to look like. Would you like to roleplay some scenario? Or maybe talk about some of your deepest and most secret fantasies. You can also talk about that with your partner and discuss his /her expectations. But you could also be totally spontaneous, avoid all the little details and just play along. Sometimes we have the most fun when we don’t plan at all.
  • Prepare yourself beforehand if you plan on sending some naughty photos while you chat. Nothing can kill the mood quicker than waiting for the other person to find the perfect pose for a naked selfie. Take a few photos beforehand and avoid ruining your sexting session by being unprepared.
  • When things become hot and interesting make it even hotter. Arouse yourself to switch to a more erotic mindset. Tell your partner to describe you in details what part of your body they would touch, caress, scratch or even slap if you are into that. Combine imagination and your senses for the ultimate sex chatting experience.
  • Don’t be afraid to try something new and get out of your usual everyday role. Explore different personalities and play different roles while you chat. Act as you are the king of a big kingdom, or pretend that you are a naughty student and your partner is the professor. You will have a lot of fun and maybe learn something new about yourself. While you chat, leave your ego behind.

Rules of the sex chat game- do’s & don’t’s

Every game has rules, so does sex chatting. If you follow some of these simple rules you will soon find out that sexting can be a really fun thing to do.

So let’s get it on.

Have a normal convo first

If you have never tried sex chat it is easy to forget that you are typing with an actual real person. So when you actually meet someone that you want to try sex chat with, start slowly. Get to know the other person a little bit. Talk about their expectations and wishes, then from there slowly escalate the conversation ant turn it more sexual.

Don’t be that guy that sends a dick pic in his second message. It shows a lack of tact and a lack of social intelligence.

But, on the other hand, if your mission is sex chat, don’t overdo the -getting to know each other phase – and accidentally steer the conversation in the boring land. Always keep the mood slightly sexual and don’t be so serious.

Don’t send explicit photos too soon

As mentioned in the bullet point before this. Sending your explicit and naked photos certainly has its place in sexting and it could catapult your sex chat on the whole different level. You know the saying that the picture is worth a thousand words. But also know when it is the appropriate time to send them and to whom.

If you are men, you sending a photo of your penis will not have the same effect on girls as a girl sending you a photo of her boobs.

Guys are a visual creatures and one photo is all it takes for us to become horny and lose our minds.

But women are a whole different story. Of course, even women enjoy the view of a great built male body, but they react more on a psychological level than a visual one. So telling a good erotic story would have a much better effect on women than just sending them a dick pic like every other guy does.

Use that knowledge to your advantage. If you really have a need to send an explicit photo, make it sexy somehow and don’t show everything at once. Leave something for her imagination.

Spell properly

It is easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment and type as fast as you can. You just want to type it all out in fear that you will forget it, and in the meantime, you break every grammar and spelling rule that exist.

Watch out for that. nothing will kill the sexy mood faster than a bunch of spelling errors. It will seem just like you are in some big hurry when you should take your time, build some anticipation and enjoy the moment.

Be very descriptive when you write

Ok, maybe you are not a perfect writer but I’m sure that you’ve told a story or two sometimes in your life. Use all the elements of a good story when you are describing something. Include lots of details and use all of your senses. Describe the places, the smells, the tastes.

Here are a few examples.

Don’t chat with too many people at once  

It is easy to get confused and mix things up. It is hard enough to be focused on one conversation let alone two, three, or more. You will only kill the mood and ruin the experience for you and your chat partner.

Pick the right person for you

Online dating and online chat are a numbers game. Of course that you will not click with everybody and you will have to sift through a lot of bad matches to find somebody who is compatible with what you want.

It’s all trial and error and a part of the game. Accept that you will inevitably go through some unpleasant experiences until you find your sexting partner.

Stay safe

Do everything in your power to stay safe and protect your personal information. After all, you are chatting with complete strangers. There is no need to share real information about yourself, especially if you want to stay anonymous and yu don’t plan to meet this person in real life.

If your anonymity and privacy are important to you, you can use apps like google Hangouts and destroy any trace of your sexual escapades.

Participate and be proactive

If you are a man, having a sex chat online won’t be much different from having a conversation with women in the real life. You must take the initiative, be more proactive and lead the conversation in the direction that you want.

Don’t be passive and not contribute to the conversation. By doing that the conversation will slowly die out and you will need to start from scratch.

Is Sex  Chat Better Than the Real Thing?

Well, it is a tough question to answer. Both have their pros and cons but if you use sex chat correctly and take care of your safety you could have a lot of fun doing it.

These are some of the differences:

  • You can be completely anonymous

You can use internet chats completely anonymously or you can make your online profile with your real info on some of the dating sites that also have chat options.

It all depends on you, your preferences and whether you want to take sex chat to the next level and meet in person. It also depends on the person you are chatting with. If that person is your spouse or a long-term partner than obviously, you don’t need to worry much about that. But if you are chatting with complete strangers it would be smart to be careful about the type of info you are revealing about yourself.

On the Internet, you can be whoever you want to be. Imagine a character and play it out. Have fun.

  • Safety

Having real sex is one of the best experiences we can experience as humans. It is a lot of fun, but we can also experience a lot of unwanted consequences if we are not careful.

Just imagine having unprotected sex with a complete stranger and in the process making a baby. That kind of things could change your whole life overnight.

You don’t have to worry about pregnancy if you are having a sex chat. The same thing is with STD’s. You are completely safe.

Also, no more those silly situations when in the heat of the moment you are scraping your pockets in a desperate need to find a condom.

  • No worries about your physical looks

In the real life dating, we are constantly under some kind of social pressure and we try to meet all kinds of silly social expectations. You must look this way and have this kind of a wardrobe to be cool. If you are having over 10% body fat and don’t live in the gym, you are not considered hot.

Well, forget about those silly rules while you are sex chatting. You can be completely anonymous and enjoy your sexuality without the fear of judgment and social pressure. Of course, those things apply only if you are not using a webcam.

If you are planning to meet somebody from the chat in real life, then don’t blatantly lie about your looks.

  • You can develop your creative side

There is really something special when you can take your time and write things out. While chatting you can eliminate the fear that you will be judged when you say something. Well. maybe you will but not face to face so the experience will be much more pleasant.

You have the option to say and write things you couldn’t dream of saying out loud in real life. Write out your dirtiest and most secret fantasies.

  • Meet like-minded individuals with ease

The cool thing about online sex chatrooms is that everybody can find something for themselves. No matter what kind of a sex fetish and kink you have in mind, there probably is a chat room designed especially for that. Meeting new like-minded people have never been easier.

  • Sex chat is better than porn

Just take a second and imagine yourself while you are watching porn. You are sitting in your room and watching people having sex on the screen. You are completely passive and you don’t participate in any kind of way.

If you want to have good sex chat session you will have to learn to be more proactive, lead the conversation, and be more creative with your words. You are actually an active participant and it depends on you if you are going to have a good time, or not so good time.


So there you have it. If you are overly busy, not ready for real life dating, or you simply want to experience something new or bring passion back to your bedroom, use modern technology and have some fun in your life.


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