Where to Find a Sex Chat + Your Top 7 Sex Chat Questions Answered

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What is Sex Chatting?

Sex chatting is essentially talking dirty to someone, usually as if you were actually having sex.

Types of Sex Chat

There are a few different types of sex chatting, and different types of places where they occur.

  • Text chat (Texting, Chatrooms, Social media, Instant messaging)
  • Voice sex chat (video chatrooms, video calls)
  • Video sex chat (phone calls, group voice chats)

Benefits of Sex Chatting

You are likely wondering what benefits you can really experience from sex chatting other than the most obvious one, orgasm. In fact, sex chatting has many benefits that you likely haven’t considered.


  1. Boosts confidence
  2. Convenience
  3. Helps you find sexual compatibility
  4. Explore your fantasies
  5. Lots of people to choose from
  6. Easy extraction
  7. Rekindle passion in your relationship
  8. Ease back into sex and dating
  9. Learn and have new experiences
  10. Maintain a long distance relationship

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Boosts Confidence

Sex chatting gives you valuable successful sexual experiences. These experiences aren’t physical, but that doesn’t make their effects any less real.

Having a successful sex chat can be just as much of a confidence booster as having good sex.

There are a lot of things that can and do go wrong during real sex. Sex chat is about the fantasy, so problems are much less likely to occur.

Sex chatting can have the same confidence boost as having a successful physical encounter.


Physical sex requires a lot of effort. You have to be presentable. If they are coming to your place, it has to be presentable as well.

You have to arrange you and your partner’s schedule to fit in meeting up and having sex.

Of course, finding someone willing to have sex with you can be the most difficult part of all.

With sex chatting, you can skip all this. You can engage in a sexual encounter with someone from the comfort of your home.

There are less concerns about how you look (or smell for that matter). It’s also easier to find women willing to sex chat than willing to have real life sex.

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Find a Sexually Compatible Partner

Sex chatting allows you to engage with different people and find out if you are sexually compatible before you have sex.

This can save time and embarrassment. It also gives you an idea of what the person is into beforehand. Nothing kills confidence and sexual energy like being unsure of what to do.

When you’ve already had a sex chat, you have a basic blueprint for what they like and want.

Explore Your Fantasies

We all have fantasies. Sex chats allow you to experience your fantasy as a fantasy.

This is a great way to test out your fantasy and see if it’s something you are interested in pursuing in a real life encounter.

Sex chatting is also a great option if you want to keep your fantasy in the realm of fantasy, and it opens up many more options.

Want to be a knight and rescue sleeping beauty? How about sex with a humanoid alien on another planet? With sex chatting, your only limit is your imagination.

When sex chatting, the only limit to your fantasies is your imagination. You can make things are realistic or creative as you want.

Lots of Potential Partners

When you are meeting people for sex in real life, you have a limited amount of people to choose from. If you live in an urban area, it isn’t much of a problem.

However, if you live in a more rural area, you may struggle to find someone to have sex with. Sex chatting allows you to have sexual encounters with people around the block or around the world.

This gives you many more people to choose from. Your no longer limited by distance. If you have a specific “type” or fetish, you will find it much easier to find what you are looking for with sex chatting.

Easy Extraction

Let’s be honest. Some times things just take an awkward turn, and you find yourself searching for an escape route.

With sex chatting, escape is easy. You can politely say something came up, or just close the chat. The internet allows for anonymity, which makes it easy to simply disappear.

Block the person. Change your name. Stay off the site you met them on for a few days.

Any of these options help you avoid the awkwardness that occurs after things go wrong for whatever reason.

If you’ve ever had a friend call with an “emergency” to get you out of a date or other encounter, or experienced a coyote ugly situation, you know how valuable easy extraction can be.

Coyote Ugly

When caught in a trap, a coyote will sometimes chew it’s leg off to escape.

A person that is coyote ugly is so ugly, that when you wake up next to them, you would rather chew off your own arm than risk waking them to get your arm out.

Rekindle Passion in Your Relationship

In long term relationships, it’s easy to fall into a routine. You find yourself doing the same things in the same positions. You loose the spark and excitement that was there in the beginning.

Sex chatting can be a great way to rekindle that fire. It gets your imagination going, and can help you to break out of the rut your in and come up with new ideas.

These new ideas can not only be used for a sexy chat, many times you can incorporate them into your real bedroom activities as well.

Ease Back Into Sex and Dating

If you are just getting out of a long term relationship or you have been single for a long time, you may not be ready for the full dating experience.

Sex chatting is a great way to ease back into the dating scene. There’s much less pressure and no real risk involved.

It’s also a good way to see if you are ready to start dating again. If sex chatting makes you feel guilty, you aren’t over your ex enough for the real thing.

Dating Lite

Consider sex chatting as dating lite. It gives you a way to dip your toe in the water without diving all the way in.

However, if sex chatting ignites your passion and makes you long for another’s touch, then consider moving on to real life dating or sexual encounters.

Learn and Have New Experiences

Sex is one of those areas where there will always be something new to learn. No matter how good you are in bed, you don’t know it all.

Different sexual partners can teach you different things and open you up to new experiences. However, not everyone wants to sleep around for sex training.

Sex chatting can offer a middle ground, allowing you to learn and experience different things with different partners without risking a trip to the clinic to get tested.

It’s also a low risk way to find out what your kinks are. If you try something and don’t like it, it’s much easier to end a sex chat than a real life encounter.

Maintain a Long-Distance Relationship

Long distance relationships have became more popular and more feasible with the rise of the internet.

These days it’s easy to connect to anyone around the world at any time. Distance is no longer the factor in partner selection that it once was.

However, long distance relationships do have their challenges.

One of the biggest is how to maintain a sense of sexual satisfaction when you can’t physically touch each other?

Sex chatting can help. Again, your imagination takes center stage.

When done correctly, it can feel almost as if your partner is there with you.

Anticipation and not being able to physically be together can act as an aphrodisiac as well. After all, we all want what we can’t have.

Long Distance Love

Sex chatting can give you a measure of sexual satisfaction in your long distance relationship.

It allows you to interact sexually and keep the passion alive until you can see each other in person.

It can’t completely replace real life sexual interaction, but it can certainly be fulfilling enough to allow you to go periods of time without physical contact and still feel satisfied.

How to Have A Sex Chat

Some things will differ based on the type of sex chat you choose to have and whether its a random hookup or someone you are in a relationship with.

However, the basic concept will remain the same no matter which type of sex chatting you do.

Sex Chat Steps

1 Choose the type of sex chat: Text, voice, video

2 Set a date or find a partner

3 Get in the mood: Erotica, porn, dirty thoughts

4 Chat with your partner: Get comfortable with each other

5 Determine what will happen: Will you masturbate?

6 Start getting sexy: Ease into sexy chat

7 Don’t leave them hanging: Be sure they finish as well

Choose the Type of Sex Chat

Which you choose will depend on your desires and your comfort level. Text is by far the easiest way to sex chat.

It’s often called sexting, and it includes dirty talk and/or sexy pictures. If you are shy, this is the best method of sex chatting for you.

You may also find it easier to get women to engage in this form of sex chat, as people are generally less inhibited through text.

One of the best parts of sexting is that you can do it anytime, anywhere. It can feel very naughty to sext while you are in a meeting at work for example.

Many people enjoy sexting on a mental level, and don’t masturbate while doing so.

Other people prefer to masturbate or carry out the acts being described to the best of their ability while sexting.

Types of Sex Chat

  • Sexting: great if your shy
  • Phone sex: Enjoy your partners voice or moans
  • Cybersex: Put it all out there and engage in mutual masturbation

” alt=”” aria-hidden=”true” /> Voice requires more bravery, but hearing your partner’s voice can be a big turn on. It’s also much easier to use your voice instead of your hands if your hands are otherwise occupied.

If you are masturbating, hearing each other moan in pleasure can turn you on and bring a sense of closeness to the encounter.

While masturbation often occurs with phone sex, it is by no means a requirement.

It can also be used as a form of foreplay. Slip away for a sexy phone chat on your lunch break, and your partner will probably jump you when you get home from work.

Not for the faint of heart, video sex chat, also known as cyber sex, will give you a full on view of what your partner is doing.

Cybersex lets you see your partner and know that your partner can see you as well.

Cybersex is generally done with mutual masturbation being the main goal. The point being that you can look at each other’s bodies and watch your partner pleasure themselves as they think about you.

Set a Date or Find a Partner

Setting a date for a sex chat may seem strange, but it’s really no different than setting a real life date. If you have a partner, setting a date allows you to both set aside time for the chat without distractions.

There’s nothing wrong with sex chats that begin spontaneously. If they happen, go with it. However, you should still set dates for sex chatting as well.

If you don’t have a partner, you’ll need to find someone to sex chat with. You can learn more about how to find a sexting or cybersex partner below.

Finding a Sex Chat Partner

Need a sex chat partner? Check out these articles for advice and tips on finding a partner for sex chat.

Get in the Mood

Getting in the mood  before your chat begins will make things go much smoother and your experience will be more enjoyable.

In person, you and your partner will already be in the mood before you begin sexual contact, either by flirting or just begin around each other.

With sex chatting, your stuck getting things going on your own, or hoping your partner will get you in the mood quickly.

You can get in the mood by reading erotica, watching porn, fantasizing about your partner, or flirting before you begin chatting sexually.

The more turned on you are when the chat begins, the better it will go.

Chat With Your Partner

Don’t jump right into sex talk. Take a little time to chat and get comfortable with each other. Simple questions like “how was your day” or “what are your hobbies” work well

Starting off with conversation allows you to ease into the sex chat when you are both ready, and it can make you both more comfortable.

If it’s a random person, it’s a great way to know a little about them before you move to sex talk. If its your partner, it’s a good time to catch up a bit.

Be sure that you start off with chatting before you move to sex chatting.

Determine What You Will Do

Will one or both of you masturbate during the chat? Will you play out a particular fantasy? You’ll need to discuss these things before things get sexy.

If you have specific ideas or things you would like to try, this is the time to bring them up. Don’t be shy. You’ll need to be open with each other to enjoy your sex chat anyway.

Start Getting Sexy

Ease into the sexy talk. If you have a specific scenario you are playing out, this is the time to begin it.

Start off slow when you begin to roleplay. Touch their face, look into their eyes, give them a light kiss.

If you don’t have a specific scenario in mind, or would like a little segway into it, move the conversation in a sexy direction.

Questions are an excellent way to slowly steer the conversation to sex.

Examples of Sexy Questions

  • What are you wearing?
  • What do you find attractive about me?
  • What is your fantasy?
  • What do you enjoy during sex?

Don’t Leave Your Partner Hanging

The chat shouldn’t be over until you are both satisfied. If you are done, keep things going until your partner is finished as well.

If you are masturbating, keep up the sexy talk until both you and your partner are finished. If it’s a roleplay scenario, then let things come to their natural conclusion.

Once the sex chat is over, some people like to chat for a bit afterward. If it is with your partner, this is a good idea.

If its just a random sex chat hookup, you might want to just end the chat when you are done.

Where to Find a Sex Chat

You can find many places to sex chat online. Here’s a quick list of the best places to find a sex chat.

Text Based Sex Chat:

The best place to find a text based sex chat is a sex chatroom. These sex chatrooms are free, and many of them require no registration or email.

You can also use applications like Kik, Whatsapp, and Snapchat for sexy text chats. These are great for sexting when you already have  a sexting partner.

Voice Chat (Phone Sex):

Unfortunately most phone sex lines require you to pay, but many have free trials that allow you to have free phone sex.

In addition, you can always have phone sex if you have a willing partner. If you prefer not to give out your phone number, consider getting an Google Voice number for your sexy voice chat escapades.

Video Sex Chat (cybersex):

Considered the steamiest way to have a sex chat, cybersex can be very exciting. There are many sites that host cam girls, but we will focus on sites where you can find a regular person that is just as horny as you are.

You can also video chat with your partner using Skype, Discord, or Viber. All three of these services are free, so you can chat until your heart (or other part) is content.

Sex chatting can be fun and beneficial for many reasons. Now that you know why you should video chat and how to do so, get to chatting!

What is your favorite way to sex chat? Do you have a favorite scenario that you use? A favorite site? Let us know in the comments!

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