Whether you just got your ass dumped by your girlfriend or your feeling lonely… a one night stand could be just the thing to lift your spirits! To keep it as a one night stand and no more here some tips.
# 1 – No Contact
After the amazing night of anonymous sex you might feel compelled to meet again. There is nothing wrong with meeting up at regular intervals to have casual sex but if you decide to do this the relationship has changed in dynamic considerably.
A one night stand should be decided upon and the no contact rule after that night should be upheld. If you give her your cell phone number she will be tempted to call you again and organise another night.
# 2 – Her Name
Give her a nick name or a pet name – rather than asking for her full name and past history you can add even more mystery to the night by referring to her as someone else. Pick any name and be playful with it. This will allow you the both of you to remain discreet.
# 3 – The Morning
If you decide to stay over at hers rather than going home that night then don’t go exchanging information or staying over for the day. You are not friends with this women so don’t go cooking her breakfast or making her a cup of tea. She knows the score – it’s casual sex not valentines day.
It’s recommended that you leave or she leaves that same night. It might be 3 in the morning but at least you only wake up with a hang over and not a regret.
On the flip side each relationship and night out is going to be different – if you decide on a one night stand and realise how cool she really is brunch in the morning could be an excellent move.
It would be a chance to get to know her better. It’s your call in the end – just make sure you don’t make that call after a few drinks.
The morning has a habit of making things awkward. Even if you had a cracking night in the sack with conversation like (harder, faster and “I thought I said donkey was my safe word”) it doesn’t mean it’s going to flow straight into regular life.
# 4 – Leave Your Place Out Of It
If you wake up at 6 in the morning and regret the whole thing it’s pretty hard to ditch if she is in your bed. You would have to wake her up and tell her to piss off – not a smooth move.
If you decide to leave and you managed to get back to her place then it’s just a matter of leaving a note or giving her a text the next day explaining. Actually the point is that you don’t have to explain.
She will get the point. Hopefully it doesn’t get to that! But being away from your own apartment or even family has the obvious benefit that you don’t keep up the household with your night time antics.
# 5 – Casual Talk
Some can manage the serious pillow talk and then not get attached but if you want to play it safe reframe from any serious chit chat before you fall to sleep in each others arms.
One night stands are supposed to be casual! If your discussing life goals and spiritual events in your life you have blown your cover and could have a serious relationship on the cards.
# 6 – Don’t be silly, protect your Willie
Using protection is an obvious tip for ensuring that you don’t get an anonymous call 10 months later about have a kid! This is by no means an extreme case – it’s happening every day.
Keep one close at hand so when the time comes you it doesn’t break your stride.
Female Emotions During And After One Night Stands
You might like to think that all women are up for one night stands providing they feel safe and secure but according to live science women are less prepared to deal with the effects of one night stands than men.
The feeling of abandonment after sex is reported to be stronger in women than in men.
Most women are very much aware of the conditions of casual sex and one night stands so it’s not a case of ignorance or even manipulation on the case of men.
Women don’t seem to be interested in the long term relationship potential of the one night stand but are interested in the attention and love they receive during the experience.
Women have much more to lose than men – women have evolved to be weary of the implications of child birth on their own survival and future reproduction capabilities. So whether they are conscious of it or not they are taking this sexual experience much more serious than you are.
Florida Atlantic University Todd Shackelford (Evolutionary Psychologist)
Very simply the risks are greater for women however there are still some interesting benefits for women.
One night stands allow women with comparatively “lower fitness” to conceive a baby with a man of “higher fitness”… Because men who are involved in one night stands are happy to lower their standards.
In a survey of feelings after one night stands around 80% of all men said the experience was positive and for women it was 50/50. This was based on the emotions they were feeling in the morning after the one night stand not during it.
It seems that women are much more in tune with the feeling of abandonment than men.
It’s not that the women felt as though they thought the relationship was going to be a serious one… most women know that the context of a one night stand and are happy with that.
The women surveyed did stress the fact that the wanted the men to see them in good light – this was not a normal thing for them to be doing and they did not want their social status to be damaged as a result.
It’s no surprise that in most one night stands the man is the one who is sexually satisfied as a result.