Casual dating is dating without the intention of becoming serious or getting into a relationship with the person.
There is no expectation of things moving forward or exclusivity. Casual dating may include sex, but it doesn’t always. Here are the top 25 questions about casual dating.
What Are the Best Casual Dating Sites?
There are dating sites for everything these days, and there are certainly plenty of them that are geared towards finding a relationship or hooking up.
What if you are looking for something in the middle?
If you want more than just a random hookup but don’t see a committed relationship in your near future, finding the best online dating site for you gets a bit more complicated. However, there are dating sites out there that have a more casual vibe and lots of like minded singles.
Casual Dating Sites
When Dating Casually, Is Silence Better Than Rejection?
Ghosting is a very common thing these days. How its viewed and reacted to has a lot to do with how serious the relationship was.
If you were in a committed relationship with someone, you would certainly expect an official breakup.
However, casual dating has a completely different set of standards. Which is better?
Stopping communication and leaving things unresolved, or being honest and openly rejecting them?
Since the relationship is casual, it’s ok to not contact them first to tell them you won’t be seeing them anymore.
You can if you prefer to just get it out of the way, but depending on your interactions, that may be presumptuous.
If they contact you, it’s a different matter. Respond and let them know you are no longer interested.
No explanation is needed. No apologies. Just the fact of the matter.
Here’s the reason why your being an asshole if you don’t tell them.
Should You Ghost?
Stopping contact with the person is ok.
Ignoring them is not.
If they contact you, tell them you are no longer interested.
If its super casual, then it shouldn’t be a big deal to either of you. No problem, just say it and go on with your life.
If you are casual but more involved or attached to each other on some level, then you owe them at least the closure of telling them you are no longer interested.
What is the Etiquette for a Tinder Make Out Date
The most important thing is to be on the same page as your date. Be clear about it before you both get a flood of hormones from sticking your tongues down each other's throats.
If you are a bit shy about talking about your limits, it's perfectly ok to send it in a text.
Something like “Hey, just thought I’d tell you I don’t go past kissing (or whatever line you choose to draw) on the first date”.
If you are up for anything, ask your date what they are comfortable with before you start making out with them.
It can get awkward when you're in the middle of kissing and your debating on whether to grab their boob.
Let your date know how far you are willing to go ahead of time
Say it, text it, etc. Just be sure to communicate it beforehand.
If the date is specifically a make out date, then you have absolutely no excuse for not talking about your limits and expectations beforehand. Also, be sure to brush your teeth.
When Does a Relationship Move From Casual To Serious?
Dating has always been confusing, particularly when it comes to where you are in the relationship.
It has became even more ambiguous as dating itself has became a more casual affair.
So, how do you know when you are serious? When is it time to change your Facebook status? Call them your girlfriend/boyfriend?
The obvious answer would be that you’ve had “the talk”, and decided to be exclusive.
However, you don’t want to have that talk until you are sure you are on the same page. So you sit in that gray area wondering whether you are still casual and single, or taken, albeit unofficially.
The good news is there are signs that your casual relationship has turned serious.
Signs Your Casual Fling is Now Serious:
- You talk or text everyday
- Your friends are so used to seeing you together, they ask questions when they see you alone
- You spend holidays together
- When someone asks if your single, you try to avoid the question or make it clear that you arent interested
- You assume you’ll be together in the future. When you are included in their plans for an event months away, you are definitely more than casual.
- You’ve met each others families or want to. If you are concerned about whether their mom will like you, you’ve moved way past casual.
Is It A Date, or Just Dinner?
Dating, casual or not, means that you are attracted to the person and enjoy being with them to some degree.
Hanging out means that you enjoy their company, but aren’t attracted or interested in pursuing any sort of romantic or sexual relationship with them.
So, you meet someone and they ask if you want to “hang out”. When you say sure, they say “how about dinner?”
Now you are in that gray area between going on a dinner date and hanging out with someone over dinner. There are a few signals that it is a date.
Signs It a Date:
- One or both of you are nervous beforehand
- You want to ask if its a date, but don’t want to look silly
- The people around you are calling it a date, even if you aren’t
- The two of you are dressed for a date instead of a casual meetup
- They’ve put actual effort into the venue or what you are doing together
- You keep sneaking flirty glances at each other
What Do You Think About Casual Dating?
This really comes down to whether casual dating fits in with your current goals and your beliefs.
If you are comfortable with a casual non-exclusive relationship, it can be a great way to date and have new experiences.
Personally, there have been times in my life when casual dating was exactly what i needed. At other times, I desired an exclusive relationship instead of a casual one.
Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks about it. Figure out what you think about casual dating, and what will best serve your needs. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself and your dates.
What is the Difference Between Dating and Casual Dating?
Dating is going on dates or spending time with them with at least the desire to find a serious relationship. You may be in a serious relationship with the person, or simply trying to figure out if you would like to be.
Casual dating is going on dates or spending time with someone without the intention of commitment. You are both free to date other people, and you have no relationship obligations.
What is a Casual After Work First Date Idea?
There are three key words here that mean you’ll want to keep things light, fun, and relatively short. First, after work.
You’ve both had a long day at work. You want to unwind. This means keeping things light and low pressure. It also means shorter is probably better.
It’s the first date. It’s never a good idea to go overboard on a first date.
You dont want to sit through a long dinner if the two of you aren’t hitting it off. You also don’t want to appear to be trying to hard.
Lastly, casual. This implies a relaxed atmosphere. Low pressure. Something thoughtful without being overly romantic.
Save the moonlight picnics and candlelit dinners for date number two.
Casual First Date Ideas:
- Mini Golf: It’s a fun and lighthearted activity
- Stroll on the beach: Buy her a drink or bring a bottle of wine so you don’t look completely cheap
- Dart Game at a bar: Each round the winner gets to ask the loser a question
- Going out for an appetizer and drinks at a restaurant instead of dinner: this is shorter and has a more casual feel than dinner
How Do I Find Women For Casual Dating?
Quite honestly, the same places you would find them for any other sort of dating. Everywhere.
We’ve covered online casual dating above, so we’ll stick to where to find women interested in casual dating in the real world.
I know what your thinking. Sure, there are women everywhere, but how do I know if they are interested in casual dating.
Well, some ways of meeting people can at least suggest that they are open to casual dating.
First up, bars. If a woman is trying to meet men in a bar, chances are she isn’t planning on bringing him home to meet mom.
You can reasonably assume if she’s interested in you, she’s interested in hooking up or casual dating.
Second, college parties.
Find Women to Hookup With:
- College Parties
Even if you don't attend college, you can find a way into a college party. You'll meet lots of girls interested in hooking up.
Weddings. Yes. Weddings.
Everyone is in a great mood, there’s generally alcohol involved, and its the one time it isn’t weird to ask a girl you just met “Do you plan on getting married anytime soon?”
Lastly, your friends. If they are friends, they probably have a good grasp of their dating intentions and whether or not the two of you would enjoy each other.
What are the Pros and Cons of Casual Dating?
Casual dating, like anything else, has its advantages and disadvantages. You can think of casual dating as dating lite. You get the fun, without the responsibility and commitment.
Pro: Meeting Lots of People
The biggest pro is that you get to go out and have a good time on dates.
You can date multiple people at once, and get a feel for what you really want in a future relationship.
Pro: Focus on Yourself
With casual dating, you aren’t particularly concerned about the other person, so you can focus on yourself. You don’t have the responsibilities and obligations that come with a relationship.
Pro: No Messy Breakups
No messy breakups. When you are dating casually, you don’t have to worry about a messy break up.
Neither of you are obligated to keep seeing each other, so a simple text saying your no longer interested is perfectly acceptable.
Con: No Guaranteed Dates
When you have a significant other, you know you have someone to go out with on special occasions. With casual dating, there is no guarantee.
Con: No One to See You Through Hard Times
When you are in bed with the flu, your significant other will come over and nurse you back to health.
Your casual dating partner isn’t going near that. They don’t want to catch it. Same if you have a family crisis and need some support.
Better call your friends, cause it’s not part of the casual dating package.
Con: One of You Could Fall in Love
This is by far the biggest risk of casual dating. If one of you develops feelings, you could end up hurt. No matter how hard you try to keep things casual, sometimes the heat has other plans.
What’s The Difference Between Seeing Someone, Dating, and Being Bf/Gf?
Seeing someone and dating are generally seen as interchangeable. They can both be either serious to a degree, or casual.
For example, if someone asks if you are single, you may say that you are “seeing someone, but it’s not serious”.
Both these terms mean that you have some type of relationship with the person, but it hasn’t reached exclusivity or a high degree of romantic commitment.
Boyfriend and girlfriend means you are in a commited romantic relationship. There is the expectation that the two of you will stay together.
You may make plans for the future. You likely say that you are in love with the person, and introduce them to your friends and family.
Should I Be Flattered if a Guy is Only Interested in Dating Casually?
Sure. It’s ok to be flattered. It’s always nice to have someone like you, and the fact that he’s only interested in dating casually is likely much more about him than it is you.
However, whether or not you should pursue the relationship is a different story. If you are interested in casual dating, go for it.
Don't go into a casual relationship hoping it will lead to more. This often leads to heartbreak.
However, do not go into a casual relationship hoping that it will turn into something more serious. Most of the time, this is a recipe for heartbreak down the line.
How Can a Woman Get a Guy to Go From Casual to Serious?
The correct answer to this question is, You can’t. Don’t think about it. Don’t try. Don’t even entertain the thought that it could become anything more.
I know what you are thinking. Too late for that? You’ve already developed feelings for them? You really really like them, and you want a relationship with them?
First, understand that there’s no guarantee you can win him over. You’ve got to accept this. You are taking a risk by wanting to take things farther, and it may or may not work out in your favor.
The most important thing to do to win him over is let him know that you are OPEN to the idea. Do not push. Don’t leave things at his house trying to move things forward sneakily. Let him know that you would be up for it if he is, and leave it alone.
Other than that, be your awesome self. Don’t act like you are committed to him. This doesn’t mean you have to see other people, but do not give him full boyfriend privileges if you don’t have girlfriend status.
This may mean that you aren’t always available when he wants to go out. That you don’t help him pick out furniture for his new apartment. It may mean that the two of you have sex, but you don’t spend the night together.
Whatever it is, make sure he has something to gain by moving things to the next level with you.
How Do I Know If My Casual Dating Partner is No Longer Interested?
In a committed relationship, it’s pretty obvious when someone isn’t interested anymore.
They will either break up with you, avoid going out with you, or ghost. Either way, it becomes apparent pretty quickly.
With casual dating, things are much more ambiguous.
If they don’t call for a few days, if they don’t ask you out on Friday night, are they busy or no longer interested?
You have two options. You can wonder about it. Send them a text or hope they will call.
Your other option is to straight up ask. You don’t have to come off as needy. A simple message like “I haven’t heard from you lately. Have you been busy?”
Wondering if They Lost Interest?
You can ask, or just see how things play out. Whatever you do, act gracefully.
You have no right to demand anything when you weren't in a committed relationship to begin with.
This opens the door for them to tell you why they haven’t contacted you, without seeming like you are demanding an explanation.
Whatever answer they give you, take it gracefully.Remember that you aren’t in a commited relationship.
If they don’t answer, it’s safe to assume that they aren’t interested anymore.
Just move on. This isn’t the time to demand closure, since you were never technically in a relationship anyway.
How Do You Keep a Casual Relationship Casual?
If you’ve had much experience with casual dating, it’s probably happened to you at some point.
Things start off fun and casual, but at some point you realize that you are in a relationship, just without the label.
If you are dating casually with a laizez faire attitude of “If it turns into more, great. If it doesn’t, that’s ok too” then this is ok.
However, if you are really against an actual relationship, it’s the last thing you want to happen.
The good news is you can avoid this problem by knowing how to keep your casual relationship casual.
First, you’ll need to be honest with yourself and anyone you date. Define what casual means to you.
Set limits. Then stick to them.
If sleeping over feels more relationship than casual to you, don’t drink too many margaritas and stay the night.
If PDA is over the line for you, don’t walk down the street holding hands. You’ll also want to go over these limits with the people you are dating.
Make it explicitly clear that you want to keep it casual in the beginning. Be blunt. Do not give them any room for false hope.
Rules for Keeping It Casual:
- Set limits and stick to them
- Make your desires clear
- Don't change your routine
Don’t try to spare their feelings here, because not being completely clear will hurt them much more in the long run.
Don’t change your routine. Date other people. Keep your favorite hobbies. Hang out with your friends.
Do not allow them to become “your person”. That’s something people in relationships do.
Lastly, watch for red flags. Are you spending too much time together? Are either of you breaking the limits you set forth in the beginning?
It’s best to deal with it as soon as you notice things starting to get more serious.
Then you can either have a conversation with them about it, which will likely be awkward. You can back off a bit. Not be as available.
Or, if you feel that things are going too far, you can break it off before either of you get too attached.
How Can I Tell If We Are Dating or Hanging Out?
Today’s dating world is more confusing than ever, with more freedom to define your relationships the way you see fit, and more ambiguity. So how do you know if you are dating someone or just hanging out with them?
To make matters even more confusing, both these terms can mean different things. Dating can mean that you are going on casual dates with the person, or that you are in a relationship.
Hanging out is something you do with your friends in a strictly platonic sense of the word, yet it’s also what you are doing when you “Netflix and chill”.
To put it simply, if you are going on dates with the person, then you are dating. “Date” means going somewhere together in a public setting in most cases. Going to their house for a light night movie followed by hooking up or a make-out session is not a date.
Dating is the act of doing activities together in some type of romantic context. It doesn’t always have to be public. A candlelit dinner at their place is certainly a date. Takeout in front of the TV, is hanging out.
How Do You Date Casually When You Are Accustomed to Monogamy?
Some people date casually naturally. They are in no hurry to settle down with one person. They don’t need a steady relationship or a boyfriend/girlfriend title.
What happens when you are a serial monogamist? When you have only been in serious monogamous relationships, how do you date casually? Is it really a skill that you can learn?
First, see other people. That is part of the point of casual dating, and if you have a tendency to get attached, there’s nothing like having one more than person to focus your attention on.
In fact, a good friend of mine refers to this as “the pair and the spare method”. Which means that you have at least two people that you are casually dating, and a backup that you see occasionally.
Don’t let them meet your friends or family. If it’s a huge rowdy party, sure it’s ok to bring them along. But an intimate hangout for them to get to know your friends? That has “relationship” written all over it.
Don’t call them when you are needy or vulnerable. You have a crisis, you are sick, your car broke down. These are situations where you would call your significant other, if you had one. You don’t, so you call your friends.
Don’t follow each other on social media. Seriously, we put our entire lives on their these days. Your casual dating partners do not need your Facebook updates. They don’t need to see those photos of you with your grandmother on Instagram either.
Keep any and all romance sexual. There’s romance and there’s ROMANCE. There’s sweep me off my feet, carry me to bed, and give me incredible sex. Then there’s buying a teddy bear and spraying your favorite cologne or perfume on it and giving it to them. One is motivated by sexual intimacy, the other is motivated by emotional intimacy.
No sleep overs. Just. Don't. Do. It. Sleeping over, cuddling, waking up together is something you do in a relationship, and it often leads to giving them their own drawer. Cuddle after sex, sure. Then go home.
What’s the Difference Between Casual Dating and Friends with Benefits
Casual dating and friends with benefits seem similar, and in many ways they are. They both involve a more casual style of relationship. There are a few major differences, however.
Friends With Benefits
- You hang out platonically
- You are friends
- You have sex
- You expect the friendship to last after the benefits stop
Casual Sex Partners
- You may go on dates
- You aren't close friends
- You have sex
- You expect the relationship to either end or lead to commitment
Friends with benefits means that you are friends with the person. You hang out in a platonic manner. You call them when you are having a bad day. You also have some type of sexual relationship with them.
What you don’t do is go on dates with your friend with benefits.
If you go out together, it’s as friends. It isn’t a date. There should never be any sort of romance involved. You are friends that have sex.
A casual dating partner is someone that you are actually dating, but not seriously. There is the expectation that you will go on dates, at least part of the time.
Neither of these relationships are expected to be exclusive. Both should be seen as short term relationships where you understand that it won’t last forever.
In friends with benefits, there is the expectation of staying friends after the benefits have expired.
Whats the Difference Between Casual Dating and Casual Sex?
Casual dating is dating someone (going on dates) without the intention of a commitment, exclusivity, or seeing each other long term. Casual sex is having sex with no expectation of commitment.
To put it very crudely (and joking, mostly) “casual dating means you have to buy them dinner first”.
Casual dating is like dating lite. You get some of the benefits without the commitment or responsibility.
Casual sex is when your primary or only relation to someone is sexual. One night stands and booty calls are casual sex. If you do something other than get naked together, you re probably casual dating.
When Should You Go From Casual To Exclusive?
Maybe you had only intended to date casually or maybe your end goal was an exclusive relationship.
Either way, your now looking at a casual dating partner wondering if you should become exclusive. How do you know when it’s time?
The first key is literal time. You’ll want to date anywhere from one to three months before you even entertain the idea of exclusivity. We all put our best foot forward on those early dates, and you need time to get to know the real person.
Ask yourself how long it’s been since your last relationship. If you’ve just came out of a serious relationship, there’s nothing wrong with casual dating.
However, you should take things a bit slower to make sure that you aren’t trying to fill a void left by your former partner.
What are your goals? What are theirs? Before you decide you want to get exclusive, you’ll need to find out if they are on the same page. Don’t ask “the question”. There’s a much better way to do it.
Bring it up casually. Mention your friend that just got married or settled down with a significant other. A couple you saw on TV.
When to be Exclusive?
Ask yourself these questions before you decide you want exclusivity.
Have you been dating for at least one month?
Are you ready for a serious relationship?
Are they open to exclusivity?
Is this the person you want to be with long-term?
Bring the idea of exclusivity into the conversation, and mention “you think about settling down a bit sometimes”. Keep it slightly abstract. It should be an idea. Something that could possibly happen.
Ask yourself if this is really the person you want a serious relationship with. Sometimes we get caught into patterns.
You date. It’s nice. You begin that slow slide to exclusivity and become exclusive without really considering if that’s truly what you want with this person or simply the natural progression.
Do you want to be with them long term? Do they support you and make you happy?
Is it more than worth trading the freedom of being single for the commitment that a relationship brings, because you enjoy being with them that much?
How Do I Know If Casual Dating is Right For Me?
Casual Dating has became more popular these days, and with good reason. However, before you jump on the casual dating bandwagon, there are some questions you should ask yourself.
- Are you at a place in your life where you aren’t looking for commitment?
- Are you ok with dating other people?
- Are you ok with your partner dating other people?
- Do you fall in love or get attached easily?
- Do you need lots of reassurance that someone is interested in you?
- Are you normally clingy?
The answer to the first three questions should be yes. The answer to four and five should be no.
Number six is a bit more complicated. You may assume that being clingy would mean that casual dating isn’t for you.
However, dating different people at once may actually make you much less clingy.
This would allow you to get to know different people while meeting your own needs. All without stressing over being too clingy.
Can Casual Dating Be Exclusive?
If one of your answers doesn’t line up with casual dating, you should put some serious thought into whether its something you can work through.
If there is more than one issue, that’s ok. Casual dating isn’t for everyone.
If you and your dating partner are ok with that, sure. Casual dating and exclusivity are not mutually exclusive.
If you and your dating partner are ok with that, sure. However, casual dating can be more difficult when it’s exclusive.
When you date one person for a period of time, you are more likely to get attached to them.
If the dating is casual because it has an expiration date, you aren’t likely to get too attached.
For example, if one of you is moving soon, you know your relationship is temporary.
If you prefer to take things slowly and avoid the pressure and expectation that can come with traditional dating, casual dating with exclusivity can be an option.
Being casual and exclusive works well when the relationship has an expiration date.
It's also a good option when you want to become serious eventually but are taking the relationship slowly.
However, if the relationship doesn’t have an official expiration date and both of you aren’t eventually hoping for something more than casual, dating casually exclusively isn’t recommended.
You’ll likely find that you or your partner end up developing feelings.
Who Pays On a Casual Date?
There was a time when men were always expected to pay. Then women became more independent. This brought about the days of the purse grab, where a woman would offer to pay. As dating itself has gotten even more ambiguous, so has who pays for them.
A good rule of thumb is that the person that asks for the date should pay, or at least pay for their portion. Guys should always be prepared to pay for the date, and women should always be prepared to pay for their share.
To keep things as smooth as possible, the woman should offer to pay for part of the date, particularly if its more casual. Instead of doing the “purse grab”, simply ask if you can help when the check arrives.
If your the man, its still gentlemanly to offer to pay. If the woman wants to help, you can take her up on it if you like. Do not ask her to pay, however.
How Do You Avoid Casual Dating?
If casual dating just isn’t for you, how do you avoid it when it seems that’s what everyone else is doing?
The most important thing is honesty. Not just with potential dates but with yourself.
Make it clear, preferably before you go out on a date with someone, that you want a relationship.
You may simply say “I’m not comfortable dating someone who is dating other people”, or “My hope with dating is to find a committed relationship, what’s yours?”
Believe them when they say they don’t want a commitment. If they tell you they aren’t interested in the same type of relationship you are, in words or their dating profile, believe them.
Do not make the mistake of thinking “They really like me. They will commit to me in the future.”
Lastly, try to avoid places where your more likely to find people only interested in something casual.
College parties and bars aren’t the place to find love. You’ll do much better on Coffee Meets Bagel than you will on Tinder. Looking in the right places helps to set you up for success.
Should You Reveal Your Casual Dating Intent On Your Profile?
Some people are hesitant to put that they are only looking for something casual on their dating profile.
However, there’s no reason not to. The truth is that the only people you will put off are the ones that are searching for a commitment, which you want to avoid anyway.
It can get a bit more confusing when you are open to casual dating or a relationship. Do you put both on your profile? Do you choose one or the other?
Choosing both may put some people off. They could assume that you don’t know what you want, or that you are simply trying to cast a wider net.
However, being open to both is fairly common these days. If you are really more interested in one or the other, it’s best to stick to it.
Be honest about what you are looking for in your dating profile.
It saves time and potential frustration.
If you are actually equally up for anything, make your intentions known.
Don’t be afraid to elaborate a bit in your profile either. Your intentions may not be perfectly summed up in a multiple choice option.
Feel free to write a sentence or two about what type of relationship you are looking for.
Being honest from the beginning can save you time by helping you avoid people whose intentions are different than yours.
Casual dating can be a fun and fulfilling experience. What's your #1 casual dating question?