The 6 Tinder Girl Personality Types With Pickup Lines That Work

Have you noticed that your messages seem to work on some women and completely repel others?

This is because there are different types of women, and they respond to different types of game.

Speaking as a woman myself, when a man knows your type, something just clicks.

Not only is he intelligent enough to figure you out, you feel like he understands you.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could create that feeling with every women you chat with on Tinder or other dating sites?

If you know how to identify her type and what to say to each type, you can.

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What Not to Say on TInder

Understanding a woman’s type takes much of the guesswork out of what to say and what not to say to a particular girl. It would be easy to identify 20 or more types, but I’ve narrowed it down to six for our purposes.

They are:

I’ll teach you how to identify each type by taking a quick look at their profile and pictures and then asking them a few questions. Once you know their type, I’ll tell you what to say and how to interact with them to get what you want.

It doesn’t matter if your goal is a one night stand or a long term relationship. Once she likes you, you can easily get what you want. The first step to getting her to like you is understanding her type and knowing what to say. Before we go into what to say to get the girl, let’s look at what not to say on Tinder.

What Not to Say

I can’t count the number of awkward, creepy, offensive, and just plain weird messages I’ve gotten from men. Between that and the men who only know how to open with “hey”, it’s clear that men need some serious help knowing what to say on Tinder. You can see in the above graph that only 14% of tinder users send a unique opening message. Just by sending a message that’s unique and not creepy, you’ll rise to the top of the pack.

You see, women are built with a creep alarm. It’s necessary for their survival, particularly in this day and age. When they are on a dating site like Tinder, they are already on high alert. This is why some things that you could get away with saying in person just come off as creepy and off-putting on a site like Tinder.

Do not mention sex on Tinder. Period. Don’t use innuendo, and don’t use hung37 as a username. Tinder is for finding women who are interested in you and continuing the conversation via text or in person. Once you are in one of these more personal formats, then you can start uping the sexual tension.

TInder Fail

She’s Already Yours

Many men make the mistake of thinking that they need to impress their tinder matches. The fact is that if she swiped right, she’s already interested. If she replies to your first message, you are in. She likes you. She will go out with you, as long as you don’t screw it up.

This is what makes Tinder so great. When you communicate with someone, they have already shown an interest in you. These messages can be used on other dating sites as well, but the lighthearted feel of Tinder make them work especially well.

Narrowing Down the Possibilities

We will use a two-step process for figuring out a girl’s personality type. First, we’ll group them into two basic categories. Good girls and Easy girls. Good girls include the shy girl, the girl next door, and the submissive girl. Easy girls include the tease, the slutty girl, and the cougar.

You should be able to narrow it down to one of these two groups by simply looking at her photos.

Good girls photos:

  • Won’t be sexually suggestive
  • Won’t have bikini pics
  • Likely to show her doing things she enjoys
  • Show her hanging out with friends
  • photos with her pet

Easy Girl Photos:

  • Include alcohol or partying
  • Include bikinis or other sexually suggestive clothing
  • Include a selfie of her giving a sexy stare
  • May include two women with the suggestion of a three-way

Three Questions to Determine Her Type

To figure out what type of girl you are chatting with, you’ll ask her three questions. Later on, we’ll go into detail about what these questions and answers mean, including the science behind it. For now, let’s figure out her type. Feel free to copy and paste these questions as your Tinder Opener.

Question 1. Your favorite food is A. Fiery Hot Wings, B. Ice Cream, C. Black Coffee, D. Wine, E. Whatever I’m having.

Question 2: What’s your favorite color?

Question 3: What’s your dream in life?

Answer Key:

Shy Girl: B. Ice cream, white or pink, and a very short or one-word answer for question 3.

Girl Next Door: B. Ice Cream, yellow, pink, or white, has dreams of owning her own business or becoming a professional

Submissive Girl: E. Whatever I’m having, purple or pink, dreams of doing something service-oriented (teacher, secretary, nurse)

Tease: C. Black Coffee, Grey or Orange, Won’t answer question 3 seriously and will use sexual innuendo in her reply.

Slut: A. Fiery Hot Wings, Red or Black, Will mention something sexy for question 3 (professional cheerleader, dancer, etc.)

Cougar: D. Wine, Red or Orange, Will likely have accomplished her life goals and dream of something sexy and fun (Bahamas vacation, etc.)

Now that you know what type of girl you are chatting with, stop and consider whether or not you are interested in continuing things with her? Are you willing to put in the work it takes to woo a shy girl? Are you attracted to Cougars? Would you prefer a slutty girl that you know will be willing to have a one night stand?

One of the great things about this method is you don’t have to waste a lot of time chatting with girls that aren’t your type. If you aren’t interested in her type, simply move on to the next girl. If you are interested, you’ll find out more about them a bit later.

Replies to Question 1

You’ll want to reply to Question 1 before asking the next question. You want it to feel like a conversation, not a job interview. The best response (that works well on all types) is to give a bit of a compliment while remaining a bit mysterious yourself.

If wine is her favorite, you can tell her she has good taste. If she likes ice cream, tell her science says it’s because she’s sweet. If she likes fiery hot wings, tell her it means she’s a risk taker. If she chooses whatever your having, tell her that she obviously has excellent taste.

Shy Girls

Shy girls take some time to get to know, and it may be more difficult to get to know them. You’ll need to be good at keeping the conversation going to get anywhere with her. You’ll also need patience, because it can take some time before she’s willing to open up and allow you to get to know her.

Many people believe that shy girls have low self-esteem or some other type of issue. This is sometimes the case, but many times the girl is simply introverted. Once she feels comfortable with you, she will become more talkative. You’ll find that she never wastes words, however. She says what she means with efficiency, so you don’t have to worry about her playing games.

Shy girls are a great fit for men who enjoy a challenge or are very extroverted themselves. If you find yourself annoyed by women who constantly talk about themselves, you will find a shy girl to be very refreshing.

What Her Answers Mean

The shy girl is most likely to choose ice cream as her favorite food. Shy girls are normally “sweet”, and science has shown that sweet people actually prefer sweet foods. Pink is associated with being sweet, feminine, and romantic. White is associated with innocence and goodness.

Her answer to the third question, “What’s your dream in life” will be very short if she answers it at all. She’s likely to simply turn the question around and ask you what your dream is. Shy girls are slow to reveal the things that are personal to them, so if she answers the question at all, you can take that to mean she likes you.

How to Talk to a Shy Girl

After you’ve determined her type, how do you get to know a shy girl? How do you keep the conversation flowing? Normally, I don’t recommend engaging in lots of small talk. With shy girls, however, this is a must. Ask her about her favorite movie, hobbies, and movies. Keep away from personal or emotional topics like family, values, and money until she is more comfortable with you. You’ll want to steer clear of questions that can be answered with a yes or no as well.

Be prepared for her not to say much. You may get mostly one-word answers. With most girls, this would mean that they aren’t interested. With shy girls, however, one-word answers should be expected. You will have to do most of the texting. You will have to keep the conversation going.

Messages to Send a Shy Girl

One way to get a shy girl to get comfortable and open up to you is to use some self-deprecating humor. Let’s say you asked her “What’s your dream in life” and she replies “Idk. What’s yours?”. You can reply “Well my dream was to be a bum and live off my parents until I’m 40, but I think I messed it up when I went to college (or got xyz job) insert smiley emoji”.

Another technique is to give her a compliment. Again, it’s a good idea to keep it light and fun in the beginning. When she says “Idk. What’s yours” you say “Well it was to rob a bank and become super rich, but I think I just found my gold mine! insert smiley emoji “.

The Girl Next Door 

This is your average girl. She’s nice and seems innocent. She would rather stay at home than go out to the club. She may have been a cheerleader, on the yearbook staff or the homecoming committee. The average girl will fall into this category. This means the girl next door will represent the most common personality type that you’ll run into when dating

She resembles the shy girl in many ways, but she enjoys a good conversation. She’s easy to talk to and easy to get along with. When most men think of settling down, the girl next door personality type is what they go for. She’s the type of girl that your mother will love.

The girl next door offers a challenge for those interested in hooking up, but she isn’t as challenging as the shy girl. Many times you’ll find that her innocent persona hides someone who really enjoys sex and pleasing her lover.

What Her Answers Mean

Just like the shy girl, she is likely to choose ice cream because of her sweet and warm personality. Yellow indicates a sunny and cheerful personality. Pink indicates feminity and romance. White indicates innocence. The girl next door embodies all of these qualities, although she may not be as innocent as she seems.

Question 3 should differentiate her from the shy girl. Her answer will likely include helping others. She may dream of being a nurse, a vet, a doctor, or owning her own business. She will open up a bit here and show you something she is passionate about.

Talking to the Girl Next Door

Like most girls, the girl next door will enjoy talking about herself. Particularly the things that she is passionate about. She will likely do most of the talking. If things get quiet, simply offer her something else to talk about, and she will do most of the work.

Messages to Send to the Girl Next Door

Let’s say she tells you she’s always dreamed of becoming a vet, because she really loves animals. You have a few ways to respond. First, you could go with the commonality approach. This means that you bond over something you have in common (a love for animals).

In this case, you would say, “That’s so cool. I love animals too. I have a (insert pet) here. This will work for any interest she mentions, but try to keep it honest. Don’t say you have a pet cat and then turn out to be allergic to them for example.

The other response would be to say something funny. Using the vet example again, you could say “I loved animals until my goldfish started swimming belly up when I was a child. It was such a traumatic experience, I’ve never wanted another pet.”

This is outlandish enough to clearly be in jest, yet it will pull at her heartstrings just the same. It also gives you an easy out if you really don’t like pets, without looking like a jerk. Again you can use this for nearly any interest. She likes swimming? You’ve been terrified of water every since your mom threw you in the kiddie pool. You shake every time you take a shower.

If you are ever at a loss for what to say, just ask her what she thinks about xyz. This will keep her chatting.

The Submissive Girl

The submissive girl can be difficult to spot at first glance. She is likely either the girl next door or the shy girl with one key difference. She wants a man to be totally in control of her. Some women only want the man to be in complete control in the bedroom, while some enjoy being told what to do in all aspects of their life, and being punished if they don’t obey.

The thing is submissive girls generally don’t advertise it, unless it’s on a site solely devoted to BDSM like Fetlife. If you are interested in dating a submissive girl on Tinder, you’ll need to know how to identify her. Submissive girls love it when a man understands what they want and gives it to them. After all, it’s no fun if they have to tell you to be in control of things.

You’ll generally find that submissive girls are somewhere in between the shy girl and the girl next door when it comes to conversation. She’ll be a bit more reserved than the average girl next door type. She’ll follow your lead and want to please you.

There are two types of submissives. Type One is the girl who is completely in control when it comes to her work life. She may be a manager, high powered executive, or own her own business. She will have some type of authority in her job. However, she longs to come home and be submissive to her partner. Generally, this type of girl will desire a higher degree of domination in her personal life than type twos. However, she may also be the rebellious type, longing for a man strong enough to tame her.

Type 2 submissives are more balanced. They are submissive in their work lives and personal lives. They may be more “normal” and appear to be “old-fashioned”, desiring a man to take the lead but not complete control. Some type twos enjoy being completely dominated in their personal lives as well, however.

Submissive Girl Answer Meanings

If a girl selects E. Whatever I’m having to question one, she’s submissive and practically spelling it out for you. She’s telling you that she wants you to take the lead.

Purple is created by combining a warm color with a cool color, which mirrors the dominant/submissive relationship. It’s also the color of royalty, which represents the authority of a dominant man. Lastly, purple is unique, which is how submissive girls see themselves. Pink is another favorite, representing the innocence and tenderness present in submissive girls.

A submissive girl will feel obligated to answer question three honestly, if a bit shyly. If she’s a type one, she may dream of being president of a company or owning her own business. If she’s a type two, she will dream of being in service to others. This could be a job in a service-type role, like a nurse, or something big like ending world hunger. The key is that her focus will be on what she can do for others, instead of what she can accomplish for herself.

How to Talk to a Submissive Girl

Once a man knows a girl is submissive, many times he makes the mistake of assuming she wants to be dominated by him in some way. Dominant/submissive relationships are relationships, meaning they develop over time. Submissive girls do crave the type of man who knows how to take the lead from the beginning, however.

You can also tease her by telling her she should behave or acting like she isn’t quite living up to your expectations of her. This is a great way to create sexual tension early on with a submissive girl.

Messages to Send to a Submissive Girl

One sure way to a submissive’s heart is to allow her to take care of you. Let’s say her answer to question 3 is that she’s always wanted to be a nurse. You could say, “Does that mean if I’m sick you would nurse me back to health?”. If she wants to be a teacher, you could say “I’ve always wanted to learn xyz. Do you think you could teach me?”.

It doesn’t matter if she has no clue how to do what you would like to learn. It still evokes a feeling of being needed. This is important for most women, but it’s particularly important for submissives, because they have such a drive to please you.

The Tease

You may want to just move on to the next girl when you realize you have a tease on your hands. These girls will drive you crazy. They know they are hot. They know just what to say to make you want them very badly, and they will only give it to you on their terms, if they give it to you at all.

However, the tease also offers an interesting challenge. Are you man enough to turn the tables, and have her begging you for what she wants? Only one way to find out.

What Her Answers Mean

Bitter people like bitter foods and beverages, like black coffee. More specifically, they are more likely to be manipulative or insensitive to others feelings, which perfectly embodies the tease.  Orange is associated with flamboyance, sexuality, and attraction. Grey is associated with moodiness, aloofness, being emotionally cold, and indecisive.

How to Talk to a Tease

The tease will normally be more sexually forward than the slut, at least at first. She’ll appear to be super easy, only to turn into a nearly impossible challenge. That’s why you can expect her to answer with something sexual for question 3. She may say “Having you in my bed” or something similar. The trick to getting what you want with a tease is not being easy yourself. If she says her dream is “having you in her bed”, you say “Sorry. I”m not that easy, sweetheart.”

Messages to Send to a Tease

Again, the key to getting what you want from a tease is to be hard to get. She’s used to guys falling all over her in the hopes of some easy sex. Don’t be that guy. Instead, put her in her place.

“This isn’t helping your chances with me” is a great message to say if she starts getting pouty or rude because you didn’t instantly fall for her charms. Saying “I think you’re nice. Call me sometime” will drive her nuts.

When a woman says a guy is “nice” it means she’s got him friend zoned and there’s no chance he’s getting out of there. Saying she is “nice” effectively tells her she’s in your friend zone, and this type of girl will do whatever it takes to be the object of your sexual desire.

You can also say “I know you just want me for my body” or “you just want to show me off to your friends”. Both of these effectively turn the tables, and call attention to the fact that she wants you.

The Slut

Slutty girls are perfect if you are looking for a one night stand or a fling. They are the easiest girls to sleep with. They enjoy their sexuality, and can certainly show you a good time. Sluts want to be the object of your sexual desire just like the tease. The difference is that the slut wants sex as much as you do.

Sluts are dependent on the man or men in their life in one or more areas. They need the validation of being wanted, desired, and they need physical affection. They may also seek financial support from men. However, many sluts want nothing but pleasure in return for satisfying your needs.

What Her Answers Mean

Sluts are risk takers by nature, and will likely enjoy hot foods like fiery hot wings. Red is associated with power, desire, sexual attraction, and love, so it’s a favorite for slutty girls. Black is a color of strength, mystery, and rebellion. Most slutty women view themselves as strong, mysterious, and/or rebellious.

When it comes to question 3, she’s likely to give you a sexy answer without being overtly sexual. This is because she wants to be seen in a sexual light without appearing too easy. She may dream of being a professional cheerleader or dancer, which are occupations she views as being sexy.

How to Talk to a Slutty Girl

When it comes to slutty girls, it’s best to take a don’t screw it up approach. She already likes you. She’s easy, so it won’t be difficult to sleep with her, assuming you don’t make the fatal mistake. This fatal mistake is trying to hard, and it’s the number one mistake men make with women.

Imagine that you already know this girl wants to sleep with you. (if you’ve gotten three questions into your conversation, trust me, she does). Interact with her as you would if you knew without a doubt that she wants you.

Messages to Send to a Slutty Girl

Say “You have a cute (insert feature)”. If she mentions she dreams of being a cheerleader or dancer, you can say “You have cute legs. You would probably be good at it”. Notice I said cute instead of sexy? You are telling her that she needs to up her game a bit to be the object of your sexual desire, which is her goal. Also “probably be good at it” is slightly teasing and challenging her.

She will likely respond with a compliment saying that something about you is cute or sexy. Ask her what a cute girl like her is doing alone. At this point, she will likely put her cards on the table in an effort to get you to view her in a more sexual light.

She may say “wishing I had something to do” or “wishing I had someone cute to go out with” at which point you say “let’s get together and (insert specific activity here). You can say watch a movie at my place, go out for a drink, etc. You both know why you are getting together, but you need to offer her plausible deniability.

The Cougar 

The Cougar is an older woman who wants to date an older man. These women are attractive, and take lots of care with their physical appearance. They either look younger than their age or have aged very well. They are generally financially secure, either from their own hard work and/or an earlier marriage.

What Her Answers Mean

The cougar is old enough to enjoy the finer things in life, so she’s likely to choose wine as her favorite. Red is the bold color of passion, making it popular with this type of woman. She may enjoy the flamboyance of orange as well, which can also represent passion and sexual attraction.

She’s likely already accomplished her life goals, so her dreams for her life will likely involve relaxing and enjoying life. A beach vacation in the Bahamas is a  great example of this.

How to Talk to Her

How do you talk to a cougar? Say what’s on your mind and don’t play games. Cougars want a younger man, but they don’t want to play games. Treat her with respect and don’t fall into the trap of trying too hard to impress her.

Messages to Send a Cougar

Assuming she answers question 3 with something along the lines of a tropical vacation or other fun and sexy experience, simply ask if you can come along. Then she’ll be imagining you and her there together. Boom. Sexual tension created.

Cougars are very self-assured and they are used to getting what they want. To really impress her, you’ll need to play a little hard to get. If she says something seductive, you can say “Nice try. I hope you can do better than that”. You can also use lines like “I’m more than just a prize to be won” or “I’m more than just a sexy body.”

Conversation Example

Here you’ll see an example conversation, so you can see how the different parts work together.

Example 1: Girl Next Door

Guy:  Your favorite food is A. Fiery Hot Wings, B. Ice Cream, C. Black Coffee, D. Wine, E. Whatever I’m having

Girl: B. Ice cream

Guy: Aww. You know science says that sweet girls like sweet foods. 🙂

Girl: 🙂

Guy: What’s your favorite color?

Girl: Pink

Guy: What’s your dream in life?

Girl: I’ve always wanted to be a vet

Guy: I love animals too. I have a (insert pet).

Guy: Well I’ve gotta run. I enjoyed talking to you. My number is (insert number here). Text me 🙂

Now let’s use the slutty girl as our example.

Example 2: The Slut

Guy:  Your favorite food is A. Fiery Hot Wings, B. Ice Cream, C. Black Coffee, D. Wine, E. Whatever I’m having

Girl: A. Fiery Hot wings

Guy: Ahhh. You must be a risk taker. It’s science 🙂

Girl: Maybe lol

Guy: What’s your favorite color?

Girl: Red

Guy: What’s your dream in life? 🙂

Girl: I’ve always wanted to be a professional cheerleader

Guy: You have cute legs. I could see you as a cheerleader

Girl: thank you

Guy: I’ve gotta go. My number is (insert number). Text me 🙂

When You Can’t Think of Anything to Say

What about those times when you are chatting and draw a complete blank? You have two options. Either take a little time to think about what you want to say next, or throw out a random word. Yes, you read that right. Chipotle, Cappuccino, Skydiving, Purple, whatever word comes to your mind.

Hopefully, she will reply with something similar. If she doesn’t, send another word or two that relates to the first word so she gets the idea. Swap words for a few minutes, and you’ve just created rapport with her. It doesn’t get any simpler than building a connection using word associations.

Getting Her Number

You’ll notice the conversation in example 1 is short and sweet, but look at everything we accomplished. First, we gave her a compliment. You’ve established rapport with her by being an animal lover just like her. You’ve then created scarcity by saying that you had to go. Lastly, you’ve given her your number.

In example 2, we played things a bit cooler. We gave her a sort of compliment by saying she had cute legs, because women don’t really think of cute as a compliment. Again, short and sweet. Get her interested, make her feel a spark, give her your number and go on with your day.

The only time when giving her your number right off the bat is when you are talking to a shy girl. They may be too shy to text you first. With any other girl, have a quick chat and then give her your number.

This saves you lots of time and headache. You don’t have to worry about getting her number, when to text, why she gave you her number and won’t answer, etc. It’s also a lower pressure approach that works really well on Tinder because you don’t know each other yet. The fact that she doesn’t feel as much pressure to communicate with you if you give her your number will actually make it more likely that she will stay in contact.

It’s also important not to over explain. Don’t feel the need to give her a reason why you are getting off. You aren’t asking her permission and you don’t owe her any explanation other than you have a life outside of Tinder. Just say you have to go, give her your number, and log off.

Get Off Tinder ASAP

The longer a woman is on Tinder, the higher the odds that she’ll find someone else to chat with. The other reason why you want to get off as quickly as possible is you don’t want to fall into the trap of chatting on the site.

We’ve all been there. You match with someone, you chat on the app or site. Neither of you makes a move to move off the app. You chat back and forth on the app for a week, and then you lose interest.

Give her your number before you end your first conversation. If you wait, it can get awkward. It’s also more convenient to chat via text than to log into the app.

Quick Reference

Here you can skip straight to the good stuff. You’ll find the types and the messages you can send them, without extra information.

Shy Girl

Shy Girl: B. Ice cream, white or pink, and a very short or one-word answer for question 3.

Replies to Question 3

  • Well my dream was to be a bum and live off my parents until I’m 40, but I think I messed it up when I went to college (or got xyz job) 🙂
  • Well it was to rob a bank and become super rich, but I think I just found my gold mine! 🙂

Girl Next Door

Girl Next Door: B. Ice Cream, yellow, pink, or white, has dreams of owning her own business or becoming a professional

Replies to Question 3

  • That’s so cool. I love (what she mentioned in question 3) too.
  • (If she says she wants to be a vet) I loved animals until my goldfish started swimming belly up when I was a child. It was such a traumatic experience, I’ve never wanted another pet
  • (if she loves swimming) I’ve been terrified of water every since my mom threw me in the kiddie pool. I shake every time I take a shower.

Submissive Girl

Submissive Girl: E. Whatever I’m having, purple or pink, dreams of doing something service-oriented (teacher, secretary, nurse)

Replies to Question 3

  • (If she wants to be a nurse) Does that mean if I’m sick you would nurse me back to health?
  • (If she dreams of being a teacher) I’ve always wanted to learn xyz. Think you could teach me?


Tease: C. Black Coffee, Grey or Orange, Won’t answer question 3 seriously and will use sexual innuendo in her reply

Replies to Question 3

  • Sorry. I’m not that easy, sweetheart (if she tries to seduce you in question 3)
  • Does that normally work on guys?


Slut: A. Fiery Hot Wings, Red or Black, Will mention something sexy for question 3 (professional cheerleader, dancer, etc.)

Replies to Question 3

  • You have cute legs. You would probably make a good…
  • That’s cute. I’d enjoy seeing you (doing what she mentioned in question 3)


Cougar: D. Wine, Red or Orange, Will likely have accomplished her life goals and dream of something sexy and fun (Bahamas vacation, etc.)

Replies to Question 3

  • Am I invited 🙂
  • Now that sounds interesting


[the_grid name=”Lome teen”]

If all else fails? Try the Pick A Number Game

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