One of the biggest “secrets” to successfully dating women that is very rarely spoken about is honesty and authenticity. Women can spot a fake dude miles away and it’s one of those red flags that turn them off instantly.
Seducing or charming the pants off a women is really quite simple. If you have chosen well and you have similar interests then it’s all about being congruent. If what you say and what you do or how you act are different in any way that’s a big cross next to your name!
Women are looking for non congruent behaviour – you might be thinking – but what if I’m myself and it’s not good enough for her… Well then you just have to accept that she wasn’t going to be a good match for you.
I am not talking about being wacky and wild when the mood calls for serious talk or to be overly serious in a relaxed environment.
You still have to conform to some sense of normality but I am talking about is simply being yourself and not lying about anything or trying to be something that your not.
By showing your true but best self to women you show them a little vulnerability. You let them into a part of your world that few get to see.
This makes them feel special – automatically they feel that they can trust you and share a part of themselves with you. This is the natural phase of friendship building. It’s not you dictating your life and sense of worth to women!
They couldn’t care less that you just clocked the latest video game or you drive a nice car! She will notice that when you take her home but you don’t ever mention it! You remain humble in your victories and praise others for theirs.
Women resonate with people that are being true to themselves – it’s so in tune with their nature to be able to pick up on the small inconsistencies of men.
Iron out these fake areas of your life and your will find that women really start to get you.
The great thing is that you don’t have to iron out the quirks – Quirks are cool – they make you real and once again it’s a little extra piece of vulnerability that you show to them through your unique personality.
But the great thing about being true to yourself is not only the women but everything else in your life.
- You develop the confidence to pursue your dreams
- You attract friends naturally
- You become more conscious of many of the habits that were holding you back
- People can feel the emotion and energy in you and how you speak.
- The constant anxiety you used to feel as a result of being fake subsides
- That emotional energy you were burning can now be spent on creating relationships
How does this relate to women and dating?
Well I hope that’s obvious!
BUT WAIT… how do i know if I’m being fake?
–> take what you will from the following…
Getting back in tune with your “self” and your emotions will help – that voice and anxious feeling that you ignore is your subconscious telling you your actions and words are incongruent.
Do you think that the constant pervading feeling of fear and anxiety is natural for you? It’s coming from somewhere… listen to yourself and trust that the all knowing voice of reason is trying to HELP you.
Know that the pain you feel or the anxiety is not trying to HURT you but is actually trying to HELP!
Accept the pain… do not resist it – by accepting that it exists you better understand it’s source.
If you feel that twang of insecurity or self doubt remember what you were dong or saying. Look for patterns…
If your overweight and it’s before you smash your third donut in a row is it not obvious who you should listen to?
Eat the donut and accept your weight gain for what it is or listen to the voice and eliminate the pain by saying no.
The all knowing voice (whatever you want to call it) will and IS TRYING to lead you down the path that is right for you… all you need to do is listen… become more self aware.