What is BDSM?

What is BDSM?

BDSM is the shortened form of three abbreviations of different sexually erotic practices. These include:

  • Bondage and Discipline (BD)
  • Dominance and Submission (DS)
  • Sadomasochism (SM)

Although BDSM is a combined term which encompasses all of the above, people who engage in BDSM do not necessarily take part in all four sub-categories.

As the range of practices is vast, many people who engage in some of them to not consider their personal practices to form part of the BDSM category.

Being a part of the BDSM community and culture is largely based on personally identifying with that specific lifestyle.

Bondage and Discipline

Bondage and discipline involves consensual physical restraint before, during or after sexual activity.

The purpose of this is usually to cause pain or humiliation. It is also used as a form of punishment during sexual role-play.

For both men and women, bondage is a common fantasy. At some point during their lives, most people who are interested in bondage try it out.

They either decide that it isn’t for them, or it becomes a part of their lifestyle – either permanently or on occasion.

That being said, the practice of bondage and discipline is engaged in by only a narrow portion of the general population.

Quite often, the men and women who participate in bondage and discipline also engage in other sub-categories of BDSM, such as dominance and submission or sadomasochism.

Dominance and Submission

The relationship between a dominant and a submissive is always consensual. In order for the sexual relationship to work, the submissive needs to grant power to the dominant.

Encounters of this nature are intensely passionate and require an enormous amount of trust.

Training is important for the submissive, and control and experience is necessary on the part of the dominant.

Interestingly, the roles of the dom and the sub are usually reversed in real life.

A submissive woman (or man) may hold a position of power in reality, be it in her career or another aspect of life.

Assuming the role of a sub allows her to relax and relinquish power. It is often an addictively liberating experience.

Likewise, a man (or woman) who is a dominant may often experience feelings of powerlessness in real life.

It provides a welcome change in perspective and a refreshing rush of power.

Sadomasochism

Sadomasochism is centered around pleasure derived from pain or humiliation.

The pleasure can be given or received, and the type of acts vary greatly from one person to another.

In every instance, sexual gratification is obtained from the painful or humiliating acts and circumstances that they place themselves in.

Sadomasochism is a combination of the terms sadism and masochism. A sadist enjoys causing pain or humiliation, whereas a masochist enjoys receiving it.

Those that receive sexual gratification from sadomasochism may switch between giving and receiving pain.

This is different to dominance and submission, in which case, the roles are usually maintained for the duration of the sexual relationship.

Where can I find BDSM?

If you are in a relationship, a good place to start is by dropping hints towards the topic to get a feel if your partner is interested.

He or she may be against it at first, but might come round and warm up to the idea.

If you are not in a relationship or this is not an option, you will most likely need to look elsewhere.

In this case, the internet is your friend as there are millions of like-minded people all over the world in exactly the same boat as you.

There are free BDSM blogs such as ilovebdsm.net – free bdsm blog that you can visit for some references.

Also, here are some of the best sites for finding other people interested in BDSM:

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