Cheating on your partner is a sad and a devastating reality that everyone must face in their relationships. You can never control what your mates do. Even if you do your very best to fulfill their needs, in the end, it is up to them if they are going to be faithful to you. But is fidelity as simple as it seems? Is it just a simple choice for us or is there a science behind it?
Why Do People Cheat
Thanks to the study of many scientists, sociologists and psychologists many studies have been performed to uncover the mysterious realities of the fidelity. These reasons are just theories and may not be able to precisely pinpoint the chances of every person that you ae involved with but the more you know the better it will be for you.
While knowing about the things that are bad for their health, have you ever tried to think about the fact that why some people still smoke, or obsessively drink or binge despite knowing the consequences of these acts? These people are able to do these things due to something called the cognitive dissonance. A cognitive dissonance is an act of separating the wrong that you do by either justifying it or trivializing it so you don’t seem as bad. This is a very prominent behavior found in the cheaters.
An experiment was performed in the January 2013 which proved that when people were made to feel bad about their past cheating, they saw those deeds as such. Whereas, if their behavior was rationalized, they were able to separate themselves from their own bad behavior leading them with thoughts like cheating is bad but I’m not bad because I’m a good person even though I am cheating.
Addicted People Are More Likely to Cheat
One of the reasons why do people cheat is that they have an addiction. For the last decade, the people have been using their addiction to sex to justify their cheating. While some of the people using this excuse were skeptical, the sex addition actually is an issue for some of the people. These sex addicts allow themselves to do very unhealthy things for themselves and for their relationships. There are recovery facilities for such addicts.
Desire for Sex
An online experiment was recently performed by the recovery.org which was called “To Catch a Cheater”. They created a number of fake profiles on several different dating websites with a certain level fidelity. Through these fake profiles, they saw that the fake profiles of women that they created were hit up more by men whereas the fake men profile did not catch as much attention. This behavior led them to the fact that some men just want to have the pleasures of sex instead of a complete relationship which was the reason why the men in the study sought to cheat with these women.
Disappointment in Their Partners
AshleyMadison.com is an online dating website that helps the married people to find other people to cheat on their spouse with. According to this website, their busiest days for signups were the day before the Valentine’s Day for the men and the day after Valentine’s Day for the women.
The founder and CEO of this website, Noel Biderman, says about the expectations around the holiday drive membership: “Mistress Day is all about avoidance. People sign up to avoid the stress they know they will have to face with their spouse the following day.” He adds, “The day after Valentine’s Day is one of our biggest days of the year. People are disappointed by their spouses’ lack of effort, and they feel especially undervalued when there is a societal expectation of romance. Certain days of the year act as litmus tests for many people in relationships.”
It’s in Your Genes
The people at the Scientific American tried to find a connection between the genes of cheaters and their infidelity. They found that the men who had a variant of the chemical vasopressin have a tendency to have problems of fidelity and in relationships in general. Furthermore, the State University of New York also did a study and found that people who had a variation of the chemical DRD4 had a tendency to engage in the infidelity. These people also tended to e more open to social situations and to take risks.
You got it From One of Your Parents
So why do people cheat? There is a small chance of you catching this habit from one of your parents like the PSA about a man who has confronted his son after finding drugs in his closet. When that father asks his son that from where he learned these bad habits, the boy yells that he learned it from watching him.
A study was conducted by the researchers at the Indiana University, Bloomington and the University of Guelph in Ontario, revealed that one of reasons why some people cheat is due to stress of dealing with the anticipation of having to perform for their mate sexually. With the people who were not in a relationship with these people, they were not a much careful about meeting their sexual needs allowing them to be more open sexually: “It may be that individuals with arousal difficulties feel less pressure to perform sexually with a partner to whom they are not emotionally committed or in a relationship context which is not long- term. In addition, it may be that some individuals want to evaluate if, or believe that, their arousal difficulty is specific to their primary relationship and engage in infidelity for that reason.”
Why Do People Cheat: References
THE SCIENCE OF INFIDELITY: 14 REASONS PEOPLE CHEAT – Madame Niore
Infidelity and the Science of Cheating – Sharon Begley
8 THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT CHEATERS (ACCORDING TO SCIENCE) – Your Tango
10 Reasons Why Do People Cheat, According To Science – Gurl