Zen Dating Advice

1 Relax…Breath

2. Talk Less

3. Stop Searching

#1 – Talk Less! (shut up)

Talking less enables easier self reflection but more importantly allows women to talk about themselves. Even if your not interested in their latest shoe or dress purchase it’s easy to be perceived as giving a dam if your not ranting on about your life.

You may love being the centre of attention but do not be so rude as to never let anyone else have their say.

This means actually NOT talking for at least 3-4 minutes while you appreciate and encourage OTHER peoples thoughts and interests.

You may not even recognise that you do it but interrupting other people is extremely rude – especially if you change the subject away from their interests. They (women) may be to polite to let you know what your doing but you can be sure there will be a cross next to your name when you do.

You may never be the “strong silent type” (able to feel good about yourself independently of anyone else’s external recognition and praise)

But you can try to be more aware of other peoples feelings and personalities. If you usually the centre of attention recognise that YOU have a lot of power to make other people feel great about themselves.

The silent types wont interrupt you to have their say like you might but they ARE waiting to be asked for their own valued opinion. Simply asking a women about how she feels about the topic of conversation when in a group boosts your value big time in every bodies eyes.

So rather than coming across as a self absorbed know it all use your confidence to your advantage and talk less by asking more.

#1 – Relax…Breath

Nobody (especially including women) likes a party pooper. Relax and enjoy the ride. There is no pass fail, win or lose with women there is only good and bad experiences.

There are always more women to impress or fail to impress by inaction!

By relaxing you allow your real personality to shine through and the jokes come naturally. Different personalities are funny in different ways.

If you are not great with wisecracks and witty comments then you can work on that but perhaps you should look into interesting factual information that sparks great conversation.

Or maybe you are allows really honest about situations which is naturally funny anyway.

Everybody has their own way of lightening the mood – being more of yourself rather than trying to fake someone else’s personality that you THINK women want is the only right path to take… WHY? (nobody can fake that good + your life will be a constant lie).

IMPORTANT:

Relaxing and taking women LESS SERIOUSLY is perhaps the BEST dating advice a guy can receive. The guys that actually need a few tips really suffer from as a result of being to serious!

They over complicate what is really a simple experience and place to much emphasis on the WIN or LOSE mentality. All women really want is to have some FUN.

If you can lighten the mood and make them fell comfortable in your presence you are 80% of the way there! Truly. The rest is simply down to a few projections of high value and self respect.

Treat Women With Respect

On the back of taking women less seriously there is also a case for not treating her right…

Check out this parody of Jersey Shore

Let’s stay away from acting like RONNIE or looking like Pauley D ok?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dMYwrWoNR0

Treating your women like one of your mates will slowly ensure that she BECOMES one of your mates.

You might think at the beginning that it’s great –

She is comfortable around you
Your like “brother and sister” together
BUT

The reality is she is your girlfriend or wife! Not your mate. Having wrestling matches or farting contests is going to screw your relationship up pretty quickly.

#3 – Stop Looking!

This doesn’t mean stop showing up in places where single women are hanging out but it does mean stop EXPECTING that you will hook-up or find a women every time you go out.

It is natural for guys to go searching for women but you end up looking like a pack of dam wolves when you are out with our buddies.

Women can spot desperate guys and you don’t want to be a part of that.

When you stop expecting and actively searching you will naturally attract the right women for you.

You will chat to women because they are interesting to talk to rather than being part of your twisted pick up approach and set.

By talking less and breathing/listening more you are able to become more aware of your surroundings. Realizing your faults is the first step to moving forward and correcting them.

By stopping your desperate search for women you start to realize the futility of chasing. You will start to work on yourself and through enjoyable experiences with friends you will attract the right women into your life naturally.

NOTE: this approach to dating may not work for everyone… It is natural for guys to love the thrill of the chase. All I would recommend is to give it a real try for a month or two and see where you get with it.

“Stop looking” does not mean stop Living!

  • zenlife

    Ahhh…. nice post: Zen applied to dating and relationships.

    Reminds me of http://zenhabits.net/

    keep it up